Hello to all of you people out there who aren't even reading my blog! (*grumble grumble* why do I even bother updating this thing?)
I haven't posted in forever, mainly because my life has reached that "Oh my God there's so much shit to do!" phase where I'm thrown out of the house and forced to live on my own as a college graduate without the security of mummy and daddy. Yup, this writer's an independent man now.
I migrated Eastward in order to live with my partner. Being a little farm-boy from the middle of nowhere, moving to the metropolitan heart of New Jersey/New York has really been a big adjustment. I'm still unemployed, but considering there's a business around every corner in these parts, I'm pretty certain there's at least one job out there for me. If only this horrible weather would stop I'd be able to trek around town to fill out some applications--oh yeah, no car anymore. Did I mention that?
So for now I'm settled into the life of being my partner's housewife. It's a pretty sweet gig: cleaning, cooking, and doing the grocery shopping. I definitely have more respect for my mom now though.
But chyeah. I may be writing some stories in the near future, but psh, I'd be lying if I said that was for certain. Perhaps I'll be bumping into some of you in the big apple one of these days! I'll even give you the amazing honor of buying my broke-ass a beer!
Gotcha! Chapter 1
I'm starting a new erotic action-adventure series called "Gotcha!" Since each chapter is fairly short, I'm only going to post them on Y! Gallery in groups (chapters 1-3, 4-6, etc). On my blog, however, I think I'll post them singly so my readers get first priority of reading each chapter as I write them! So without further adieu, chapter 1 of, "Gotcha!"
What kind of warrior attacks a man in his sleep? How cowardly can someone get?
I was sleeping off the ten shots of vodka I had drank that night, lying sprawled out on my bed in nothing but my tighty-whities, and was having the best dream when I was woken up by the kicking-in of my bedroom door.
“What the!” I screamed, jolting from sleep and falling off of the bed against the wall and hidden from view.
“I’ve got you!” the intruder growled, stomping his way to the side of the bed I had fallen.
Thinking quickly, I rolled under the bed and came out on the other side. The man was kneeling down on the other side of the bed, muttering, “Where the hell’d he go?” so I dashed to the closet and slammed the door behind me.
“A-HA!” and I could hear the man running for my closet door.
A pity the guy wasn’t more cautious, because when he threw open the closet door I was waiting for him; waiting with a polo mallet—a very BIG polo mallet.
CONK!
“Yeouch!” the man shouted, falling to the floor with his hands on his bruised forehead. I used this as my opportunity to escape, and ran out of my 2nd story bedroom.
“He ran out of the bedroom!” the stranger screamed to someone else in the house. As I ran along the upstairs hallway, I could see another man running up the stairs, so I took the only other route I knew: jumping off of the indoor balcony.
“Please please PLEASE let me land on the sofa!: I prayed to myself as I dropped from the second floor. Sure enough, my catlike skills landed me comfily on the sofa.
“Damn!” I could hear the other man turn and run back down the stairs to try to catch me. Taking the front exit would put me right where the other burglar was waiting for me. Out of the back door I could see the glare of headlights, most likely there were more bandits waiting for me; neither exit was a possibility
I had to defend myself. It was the only option.
By now I was raving mad with a mixture of anger and terror. Survival was no longer my priority—making the bastards who broke into my house pay was.
My second pursuer finally found his way into the kitchen, and he didn’t seem too pleased to find me ready for him with a chef’s knife and frying pan. My only hope was to scare them off. My ferocious eyes met the man’s scared ones, and I crept towards him with my weapons like a cat sneaking in for the pounce.
“I don’t know what you bastards are doing here, but you’ve overstayed your welcome. I think it’s time for you to be leaving.”
“Erm… uhh… Rappo, I could definitely use your help,” he screamed upstairs to his partner in crime.
“I don’t think you should count on his help. For all you know, I’ve already cut him to little pieces. Now how about you leave before I do the same to you—or worse.”
He let out a little shriek, and ran into the living room where I quickly pursued him, cooking utensils in hand. He stumbed over the coffee table in his escape, and fell right into a corner. I had him. I was going to make him pay for disturbing my beauty sleep! I nimbly hopped onto the coffee table, walking towards him, ready for the kill. The pathetic excuse of a burglar crawled away, sliding across the floor on his ass, staring into my face as if to beg for mercy.
I had none.
I reached the edge of the coffee table, standing over the cornered criminal, ready to strike.
“Rappo?... RAPPO!”
Just as I raised my frying pan into the air, ready to knock the man out, I felt a bee sting on my ass.
“Quick! Grab’im before he passes out and falls into somethin’!”
I turned to see the owner of the shouting voice behind me. It was my first pursuer. I looked down at the bee sting; my right butt-cheek was still on fire with pain. It was a dart—a dart from the tranquilizer gun the man was holding.
“Oh well God--!”
I passed out before I could even finish my sentence.
Chapter 1
Galstaff
What kind of warrior attacks a man in his sleep? How cowardly can someone get?
I was sleeping off the ten shots of vodka I had drank that night, lying sprawled out on my bed in nothing but my tighty-whities, and was having the best dream when I was woken up by the kicking-in of my bedroom door.
“What the!” I screamed, jolting from sleep and falling off of the bed against the wall and hidden from view.
“I’ve got you!” the intruder growled, stomping his way to the side of the bed I had fallen.
Thinking quickly, I rolled under the bed and came out on the other side. The man was kneeling down on the other side of the bed, muttering, “Where the hell’d he go?” so I dashed to the closet and slammed the door behind me.
“A-HA!” and I could hear the man running for my closet door.
A pity the guy wasn’t more cautious, because when he threw open the closet door I was waiting for him; waiting with a polo mallet—a very BIG polo mallet.
CONK!
“Yeouch!” the man shouted, falling to the floor with his hands on his bruised forehead. I used this as my opportunity to escape, and ran out of my 2nd story bedroom.
“He ran out of the bedroom!” the stranger screamed to someone else in the house. As I ran along the upstairs hallway, I could see another man running up the stairs, so I took the only other route I knew: jumping off of the indoor balcony.
“Please please PLEASE let me land on the sofa!: I prayed to myself as I dropped from the second floor. Sure enough, my catlike skills landed me comfily on the sofa.
“Damn!” I could hear the other man turn and run back down the stairs to try to catch me. Taking the front exit would put me right where the other burglar was waiting for me. Out of the back door I could see the glare of headlights, most likely there were more bandits waiting for me; neither exit was a possibility
I had to defend myself. It was the only option.
By now I was raving mad with a mixture of anger and terror. Survival was no longer my priority—making the bastards who broke into my house pay was.
My second pursuer finally found his way into the kitchen, and he didn’t seem too pleased to find me ready for him with a chef’s knife and frying pan. My only hope was to scare them off. My ferocious eyes met the man’s scared ones, and I crept towards him with my weapons like a cat sneaking in for the pounce.
“I don’t know what you bastards are doing here, but you’ve overstayed your welcome. I think it’s time for you to be leaving.”
“Erm… uhh… Rappo, I could definitely use your help,” he screamed upstairs to his partner in crime.
“I don’t think you should count on his help. For all you know, I’ve already cut him to little pieces. Now how about you leave before I do the same to you—or worse.”
He let out a little shriek, and ran into the living room where I quickly pursued him, cooking utensils in hand. He stumbed over the coffee table in his escape, and fell right into a corner. I had him. I was going to make him pay for disturbing my beauty sleep! I nimbly hopped onto the coffee table, walking towards him, ready for the kill. The pathetic excuse of a burglar crawled away, sliding across the floor on his ass, staring into my face as if to beg for mercy.
I had none.
I reached the edge of the coffee table, standing over the cornered criminal, ready to strike.
“Rappo?... RAPPO!”
Just as I raised my frying pan into the air, ready to knock the man out, I felt a bee sting on my ass.
“Quick! Grab’im before he passes out and falls into somethin’!”
I turned to see the owner of the shouting voice behind me. It was my first pursuer. I looked down at the bee sting; my right butt-cheek was still on fire with pain. It was a dart—a dart from the tranquilizer gun the man was holding.
“Oh well God--!”
I passed out before I could even finish my sentence.
Damn You Trollers!
In the words of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's Frank Reynolds...
"GOD DAMMIT!"
I finally got the motivation to open up a furaffinity account, but I totally forgot that registration was on a lockdown there. Apparently (well... at least from what I researched) admins from the site had to block registration, because a recent change of the ToS brought on a firestorm. To protect their asses from trolls creating 5,000 accounts to harass the admins, the site's faculty did the only thing they could: block new members.
So all I have to say is this:
GET A LIFE YOU FUCKING INTERNET TROLLERS!
You know who you are, the youtube users who write your "This bitch is ugly/fat/stupid/has huge tits" comments. Or you /bara/ users who flame other users under your cozy "anonymous" title. Fuck you! I'm sick of the internet, one of the world's best resources, being ruined by bitches like YOU! (No no, I'm not pointing my finger at YOU, reader. I'm just trying to make a point!)
Gah! No I'm all angry! Guess I'll go punch a pillow or something to let out my anger.
Or maybe I'll just watch some Jiz...
"GOD DAMMIT!"
I finally got the motivation to open up a furaffinity account, but I totally forgot that registration was on a lockdown there. Apparently (well... at least from what I researched) admins from the site had to block registration, because a recent change of the ToS brought on a firestorm. To protect their asses from trolls creating 5,000 accounts to harass the admins, the site's faculty did the only thing they could: block new members.
So all I have to say is this:
GET A LIFE YOU FUCKING INTERNET TROLLERS!
You know who you are, the youtube users who write your "This bitch is ugly/fat/stupid/has huge tits" comments. Or you /bara/ users who flame other users under your cozy "anonymous" title. Fuck you! I'm sick of the internet, one of the world's best resources, being ruined by bitches like YOU! (No no, I'm not pointing my finger at YOU, reader. I'm just trying to make a point!)
Gah! No I'm all angry! Guess I'll go punch a pillow or something to let out my anger.
Or maybe I'll just watch some Jiz...
Upcoming Character: Meet--Grafferty Parker
Sex: Male
Age: 24
Height/Weight: 5'11"/192lbs
Physical Characteristics: spiked brown hair, deep green eyes, athletic build, and a large tattoo of his family crest on his right shoulder
Sign: Tauros
Grafferty is the only son of Kathy and Graham Parker, two extremely wealthy socialites who reside in the city of D'Agustae. He is a picturesquely well-rounded boy: athletic, highly-educated, generous, and moral, but those who know him more intimately know the hellion that he truly is. Grafferty will eventually inherit his father's diamond-mining company, but for now he lives in his own private mansion (paid for by his dearest mum and dad), drinking wine, partying, and earning a reputation as an overall deviant.
Little does Graff know that he is wanted by a mysterious man: a man who has hired two skilled bounty hunters to find and capture Graff. The bounty hunters are given strict orders to keep Graff in perfect condition--and alive--for his head has a hefty price-tag on it. After spending time with the captive, one of the hunters finds that there is much more to the boy than meets the eye.
Graff finds himself wrapped up in a tangle of danger and adventure. He'll have to use his wits (and a teaspoon or two of sex-appeal) if he wants to make it out alive and bring justice to the city of D'Agustae. Can Grafferty seduce his way back to the safety of his home? or will his spoiled attitude lead him right into the hands of the mysterious man that plans to profit off of his life?
Let me know what you all think! And now for your viewing pleasure I will provide quote possibly the funniest clip to ever come from children's television. Enjoy!
Age: 24
Height/Weight: 5'11"/192lbs
Physical Characteristics: spiked brown hair, deep green eyes, athletic build, and a large tattoo of his family crest on his right shoulder
Sign: Tauros
Grafferty is the only son of Kathy and Graham Parker, two extremely wealthy socialites who reside in the city of D'Agustae. He is a picturesquely well-rounded boy: athletic, highly-educated, generous, and moral, but those who know him more intimately know the hellion that he truly is. Grafferty will eventually inherit his father's diamond-mining company, but for now he lives in his own private mansion (paid for by his dearest mum and dad), drinking wine, partying, and earning a reputation as an overall deviant.
Little does Graff know that he is wanted by a mysterious man: a man who has hired two skilled bounty hunters to find and capture Graff. The bounty hunters are given strict orders to keep Graff in perfect condition--and alive--for his head has a hefty price-tag on it. After spending time with the captive, one of the hunters finds that there is much more to the boy than meets the eye.
Graff finds himself wrapped up in a tangle of danger and adventure. He'll have to use his wits (and a teaspoon or two of sex-appeal) if he wants to make it out alive and bring justice to the city of D'Agustae. Can Grafferty seduce his way back to the safety of his home? or will his spoiled attitude lead him right into the hands of the mysterious man that plans to profit off of his life?
Let me know what you all think! And now for your viewing pleasure I will provide quote possibly the funniest clip to ever come from children's television. Enjoy!
Welcome to CollyWogs' blog! Home of Your Premier Smutastic Literature!
Ok guys (and any gals that might follow my profile)! I figured I'd just on-board the digital bandwagon and start a blog!
You can find all of my stories on my Y! account, but I wanted somewhere that I could write random rants and raves, and give you all previews of upandcoming stories and characters! So leave some friendly posts, and check back later when I've got things really up-and-running!
Also, I've used many other blogging platforms, but this is my first use of blogspot. If anybody has any advice on how to make my blog all pretty and glitzy, PLEASE let me know!
As always, many thanks for reading,
Colly
You can find all of my stories on my Y! account, but I wanted somewhere that I could write random rants and raves, and give you all previews of upandcoming stories and characters! So leave some friendly posts, and check back later when I've got things really up-and-running!
Also, I've used many other blogging platforms, but this is my first use of blogspot. If anybody has any advice on how to make my blog all pretty and glitzy, PLEASE let me know!
As always, many thanks for reading,
Colly
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